Of History Books

15 Jun 2012


Its never what it seems

"No No No"

"No. Buddy, listen. The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides. And it applies only to a right angled triangle. Got it?" The dusty Sun of a Greek island sets, as I wave my final goodbye to Pythagoras.

Contemplating on the next timeline I had to pay a visit to, there I was sitting in my pod, playing with the buttons. The Paleolithic age was ‘taken care of’ only a few moments ago. ‘Taken care of’ implies, throwing a fellow Homo–eructus cousin, a lighter and then showing him a flint. He got laid that night. True Story.

Checking the recent history on my Android vZingerbread Sammich, this was what it had got to say about my recent conversations...


"Macedonia is a small place bro. I bet the Persian chicks are hot."

"I presume... thou art knows there is a Queen without a King in the land of the Pyramids, my Buddy-Named-After-a-Hotel-in-Las-Vegas? "

"And then you draw Xerxes to the narrow pass. Yes... that’s where we fight them"

"20 Florins and that’s my final offer Leo!! Take my shizziest work of a Questionably-Smiling-Chick and get the hell outta here"

"Yes, can you send this rough draft of my Veronian tragedy to a... William Shakespeare please? FedEx?"

"Heyy Christ-freaking-Columbus! I have this insane idea..... West "

"And there you go, right on top of your head. I hope that hurts real bad, Isaac!!"

"Let’s throw some tea off the docks people!! Hoorah Boston! ... Uh oh "

"You can leave my name out of the parchment Thom Jeffy. No hard feelings bro"

"And then you fix this magnet over here Faraday. Check it out! It rotates!! Cool, eh?"

".......... and that’s how we arrive at e=mc². Now you try... Albert! Quit fiddling with your hair! Listen! Dammit!! One more time..."

"I had this weird dream of a kid with a scar fighting a noseless demon. Wanna hear more Joanne?"

"It’s never too late Colonel. Throw in some weed and claim it’s a secret herb! Name it after Kentucky maybe?"

"And that’s how one becomes awesome. And suit up bro. Ohh, wait... What! You’re gay??


Ahh... Enough. To all the folks out there who think the US or the USSR won WWII... well, ignorance is bliss. I bet you did Nazi that coming. Or maybe you did. So did Nostradamus... Check again!


Now where was I... Troy? Ahh... Helen.